Wednesday, August 09, 2006

I wanna go home!

I hate this, I really hate living apart. I know it's not THAT far away, but I have to sleep in a different city, and only talk to my husband on the phone for as many as 5 nights a week. Well, it just sucks. We're frickin newlyweds! We're supposed to be together.
I hate school here so much is ridiculous. I can't believe I thought this was a good idea. Who knows when I'll graduate...it's so wishy washy with research. I really just want to quit. But I've already been in this for over a year. I so wish that I could transfer universities, or just do my lab work out of another lab at Western, as sort of an exchange, betcha I could go to pretty much any lab there and they could help me more than my lab here can. I really just want out. I think I could stand it, if I were in the same situation but living at home, but I'm not. I hate it I hate it I hate it...I wanna go home.....for good! Should I just quit? Throw away over a year of work? I haven't actually got any results because everything that I've done is garbage, so, what am I really wasting other than a couple of courses (which I did really quite well in). Oh ya, it would be a waste of a year of my life, a year that I've already spent away from Harold, it would all be for nothing. You know, this is where I really need a lightning bolt...I really need to know what God's plan is for me, because I really havent' got a clue what to do. If I was supposed to stay here and be in Guelph, then why does it seem so unbearable. If I was supposed to quit...then...why would I have even come here....why waste the time...oh how I loathe to fail at something else...it just sucks...is life just a series of failures...what am I supposed to learn from this...I don't get it!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I know how you feel. sux to miss your man. But stick it out....just a little while longer. You have the whole rest of you lives to be together :)....hope this helps a little. I totally know how you feel. my apartment is empty too!
Ophelia